Designing an alliance

One of the tools that I learned about in The Coaching Stance class is how to design an alliance (based on CTI work) . At first I was think – no way – I am not asking any of my friends and co-workers to sign a “coaching contract”…and then as I listened and we practiced I began to learn that it is not about a piece of paper. It’s not even about a contract. It’s about the relationship.

This helped me to understand why in so many classes – at the start of the class the instructor often starts with ground rules…asking the participants to contribute ground rules. I am always thinking, let’s go! Just tell us the ground rules, no problem. We are wasting time 🙂 But now I see that the teacher is designing a kind of alliance too. By inviting us participants to contribute. It is even effective – because when someone adds to the list “full participation”  or “everyone participates” I am reminded to both step up my game and also to invite others to speak up through out the session (because I am a Myers Briggs extrovert… often talking – thinking outloud… like right now even as I write this post. And so many of my fellow learners are introverts….

Here are the basics to begin with:

Asking for permission to coach … (if new relationship or new approach describe the coaching that you are offering – there are many meanings and understandings of what coaching is…)

Then have a conversation about the culture/space/tone and about the co-responsibility –  “how will we work together when things get challenging, what will you want me to do?”

Another of the many questions to ask ” what else do you know about how you want to be coached?”

notes from The Coaching Stance class

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Tags: Agile, coaching